Breaking the Surface
by wildwordwomyn
Summary: Mickey thinks about what makes Shane tick.


Title: Breaking the Surface

Author: wildwordwomyn

Word Count: 708

Fandom/Pairing: In God's Hands starring Mickey/Shane

Rating: PG for angst and pre-slash

Author's Notes: Saw this movie years ago and last night for some reason I started thinking of these two guys. Also, um, me and a surfboard have never met. I live in Ohio where the closest body of water is Lake Erie (can you surf on a lake?) so I apologize in advance for any and all mistakes about this particular pastime.

Disclaimers/Warnings: Spoilers if you've actually seen the movie, although I don't remember exactly how the story went. Also? I don't own or rent any of the people/places/things involved. I just write slash for fun. Read at your own risk.

Summary: Mickey thinks about what makes Shane tick.

Any surfer worth their salt knows they're taking a chance every time they go out on the water. That's just how it is. And no one gets that more than another surfer. It's why Mickey only hangs out with them. Because they see a big wave and immediately run toward it while most people would run away. It's crazy, no other way to describe it, and yet there's a certain freedom in not being afraid to leave it up to God. Shane said that to him once. Course, that kid says things 15th century philosophers would be jealous of. Especially when he's talking about the ocean. And Mickey can't do anything but listen. Makes him want to either punch him right in the face or hold him and kiss away that nameless, faceless thing hiding inside him, although more often than not he leans toward the former. What's funny is Shane's younger than him but he's got the eyes of an old soul. One Mickey finds himself involuntarily drawn to whenever he's near him.

"You ever gonna let me in? You ever gonna let anyone in?" He stares into those soft brown orbs, getting sucked in the longer he looks. "Jesus, I'm treating you like a chick!" Still Shane stays silent, as if words might ruin the moment or end it or maybe even begin it. Mickey can't be sure when it comes to the guy. He turns his head, breathing a sigh of relief when the connection finally breaks.

In reality he gets up and walks away that night. Otherwise he might've kept punching him until Shane 's eyes closed so he wouldn't be able to see too much into him. In his dreams Mickey stays close and Shane, for the first time in the years he's known him, doesn't hold back.

_"You're gonna die out there one day, aren't you? And you'd go happy." It comes out bitterly, though Mickey doesn't mean for it to. He doesn't even know why he says it at all._

_Shane blinks and turns his face toward the ocean. Mickey wonders if he gaze on the kid's profile is obvious. "Maybe. If it's my time, it's my time. I accept that. But I don't think I'm ready yet."_

_"You love the water," Mickey states._

_"I love being on it, not in it." It's a counter Mickey hadn't considered before. Shane always comes across as the kind who would rather go out on his board riding that perfect wave than in a stationary bed having a heart attack. "You think that's the way a surfer should go. I want more than that."_

_Mickey's brows furrow. He still doesn't understand him half the time. When Shane turns back to look at him there's something intense in his gaze, something so incredibly alive that his heart skips a beat. He can't put a name to what it does to his insides. Whatever it is it makes his breath catch beneath his ribcage. He licks his lips and feels his entire body flush with heat when Shane's eyes flash. Then Shane blinks again and suddenly the mood lightens. He half-smiles, not sure what just happened, and stands._

_"I'm heading in to catch some sleep. You coming?"_

_Shane shakes his head. "I'll stay out here," he speaks softly. "See you in the morning, Mickey." He holds out a hand._

_Mickey moves to shake it. Only Shane doesn't shake, just holds his hand, smiling his enigmatic smile. Ten seconds later he pulls his hand away slowly, too slowly, his index finger trailing down Mickey's palm. Mickey, shocked into submission, waits until they're no longer touching to walk away. As he goes he can't help wondering if he was just hit on or if the touch meant far more than that._

It isn't until he's on a monster of a wave, flying through the air, that he finally understands what Shane was telling him. He fights to break the surface once he falls into the ocean, to let Shane know he knows, but gets trapped under the swells that come after. His last thought is of Shane's eyes and how he'll be one more ghost that haunts them.

The End


End file.
